Random Things to Talk About

Entertaining topics to discuss with your boyfriend or cat or whatever.

Wait, that's not milk!

Discuss your opinions on pennies, squirrels, and depression. Share your thoughts on ghosts, bears, and alternative Olympic games. It's up to you, you social butterfly, you!

All 275 ideas, by category

Big Questions and What-Ifs

  1. If we could teach chickens how to smoke weed right before we ate them, could we also get high?
  2. Would you be more/less likely to donate money to a kid if you knew their name was Ralph?
  3. At what point does a potato become a French fry?
  4. If a sloth and a cheetah had a baby, would it just move at normal speed?
  5. What I'd do if I had wings
  6. What if humans domesticated bears instead of dogs?
  7. If somebody had a 6th finger what would that finger be called?
  8. Would a red velvet cake made of actual velvet make a good seat cushion?
  9. If you talk to your plants and they die, are you boring or just bad at taking care of plants?
  10. If we all had TV screens on our foreheads
  11. If gnomes were real
  12. How messed up is it to feed food to someone that was prepared by a rat without telling them?
  13. What if God was one of us and he rocked a MAGA hat?
  14. In which season do guillotines become fashionable again?
  15. If you dove into a pool filled with all the money you'd made over your lifetime, would you survive?
  16. What if planets replaced humans?
  17. When does A size paper become B size paper?
  18. If the whole world went vegan, then what would become of cows, pigs, and chickens?
  19. How did the heart symbol turn out nothing like a heart?
  20. What would happen if the Earth was hollow and you could jump through it?
  21. How do astronauts scratch their noses on the moon?
  22. Can hobos be on house arrest?
  23. How do mermaids have children?
  24. Where does the neck of a snake stop and the tail start?
  25. How can gravity be so strong if it doesn't even lift?
  26. If you're choking on ice, should you Heimlich yourself or just wait?
  27. If you had a piece of cake and you kept halving it would you ever get to the middle?
  28. Could you make a hang glider with nothing but flying squirrels and friendship?
  29. How do they make toasters small enough for Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
  30. If you win a swordfight by stabbing someone with a pen, is that ironic or coincidental?
  31. Can you buy $1 for $1 just because you want to?
  32. What if every time you feel like your being watched its someone watching your life as a movie?
  33. If a snake ate another snake's tail while that snake was eating the other snake's tail what would happen?
  34. If walls could breathe
  35. If you made eye contact with King Kong
  36. How many flamethrowers would you have to tape together for them to work as a jetpack?

Wordplay, Puns, and Language

  1. Pills for Pilgrims
  2. Gravy trains, planes, and automobiles
  3. Is a puddle of poodles pleasantly partaking in pudding not pleasurably perceived?
  4. Unlucky Charms
  5. Pony boloney
  6. I've read the word 'spoon' so many times I forget what it means, and how to pronounce it!
  7. Buffalo with actual wings
  8. Unhappy meal toys
  9. Accordion to studies, you can put the name of an instrument in a sentence with out it being noticed.
  10. Van Diemans Land is now known as Tasmania. Rearranged, Tasmania can read "I am Satan"
  11. Good for you, kangaroo
  12. Monster Mashed potatoes
  13. Hairy pot
  14. If youtube, twitter and facebook joined. it would be called: YOU-TWIT-FACE :)
  15. Carrotastic
  16. Ben's ice and Jerry's cream
  17. More accurate name for quicksand
  18. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
  19. Don't be a bunch of dino-sore losers
  20. The word "Fat" looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word "Eat".
  21. Corny jokes about corn
  22. Who invented the word "hooray"?
  23. Bifurcation should mean something way dirtier...
  24. Mohawk pattern baldness
  25. Can a depression ever truly be "great"?
  26. Would a "Taco Bell" actually work?
  27. What do you call more than one Batman? Batmans or Batmen?
  28. If you covered baseballs in fruit juice, could you trick fruit bats into becoming baseball bats?
  29. Do you think the Pillsbury Doughboy buries pills in the dough?
  30. If you're waiting at a restaurant then aren't you technically the waiter?
  31. OIMBY - Only in my back yard
  32. Mention a word that you can't pronounce
  33. Launcher and lawn chair sound really similar
  34. Why are organs called organs? Why can't they be called church pianos?
  35. Gladiator sounds like a more positive Terminator.
  36. Newt Owners: Do you have to neuter your newts or are newts unneuterable?

Relatable Thoughts and Nostalgia

  1. Most frequently ignored DMs
  2. Why do waffles have pockets but clothes for women don't?
  3. I like thunderstorms; they justify me lazily sitting inside all day.
  4. Someone stole my pet rock
  5. Beanie Babies all grown up
  6. I will spend $50 with my debit card without batting an eyelash, but it really hurts to spend that $10 bill in my wallet.
  7. I tend to have the most anxiety when I'm anxious about being anxious.
  8. I have no thoughts. I just did not want to be the only one that did not write something.
  9. I haven't climbed a tree in years, but I always notice when a tree looks like it would be good to climb.
  10. How good were you at swings?
  11. Once I notice the audio is not in sync with the person's lips on T.V., I can't focus on anything else.
  12. Unearned jean holes
  13. That moment when your toaster burns one side of the bread and under cooks the other side.
  14. Toy from my childhood I really liked
  15. My brother isn't bossy. He screamed at me for half an hour to get me to say that.
  16. I don't care how old I get, I'll never get sick of playing with magnets.
  17. What is your kryptonite?
  18. Why don't more parents consider how fun their children's names are?
  19. Who even likes pennies?
  20. That moment when you drop a spoon in the kitchen at 3AM and scare the shoot out of yourself.
  21. Describing your day today in two words
  22. Driver's Ed should teach kids how to parallel park while another car is waiting behind them on the street.
  23. Nothing is more unsettling than being asked "Are you okay??" when you feel perfectly fine.
  24. Losing an imaginary fight
  25. Second-hand laziness
  26. Whenever I hear a car alarm...
  27. Really chubby babies that look like cushy throw pillows
  28. Cops pulling you over for speeding is like the adult version of teachers telling you not to run in the hallways.
  29. Why does math make you buy so much useless stuff?
  30. Why do we have middle names?
  31. Which pocket gathers the most lint?
  32. I'm so good at sleeping that I can even do it with my eyes closed!
  33. Pogo sticks are a phase
  34. Spelling so bad autocorrect gives up
  35. Thoughts on Florida
  36. That one actor from that movie that came out a few years ago

Shower Thoughts and Deep Musings

  1. There is no such thing as darkness, it is just a word we created for the absence of light.
  2. Time travel will never exist because it doesn't exist now.
  3. Tacos are like emotions with a hard outer shell to cover them.
  4. If you look at the stars then you will see stars from a dinosaur's life.
  5. The internet has caused as many problems as it has made solutions for.
  6. There are more than 6000 spoken languages. Basically billions of phrases you will never understand.
  7. If you were to cut a net, there would be fewer holes than there were before.
  8. If weights were invisible, the gym would look like a terrible slow-motion rave.
  9. I have so many ideas that I'm on another computer typing them.
  10. Anything can kill you if it gets shot out of something fast enough
  11. Whiskers are just face antennas.
  12. It's impossible to do nothing cause if you are just sitting down you are still doing something.
  13. Cars are like enclosed one-car roller coasters and roads are the track.
  14. Now all I'm doing is thinking about thoughts and those thoughts are thinking about that thought......
  15. The families of all the enemies you killed in video games
  16. If the theory about galaxies in atom are true , then we are killing thousands of lifeforms by just breathing.
  17. There are more plastic lawn flamingos in the world than real flamingos.
  18. Knowing that more than 1000 different cows can go into a single burger
  19. If you don't know the seven colors of the solar spectrum, shame on you.
  20. In one episode of a fictional cop show, the cops fire their guns 100x more than in the entire career of a real life cop.
  21. Things are a lot more like they are now than they used to be.
  22. Why do people think having a good personality makes up for good looks?
  23. I sometimes like to imagine what the world will be like in 50 years but I can't imagine it looking any different from today.
  24. Does a flower know it's a flower?
  25. Did you all know that 99.7% of lava is imaginary?
  26. The earth is just a tiny moist rock floating through space.
  27. When you drink from a cup you empty it from the top. But when you drink with a straw you empty it from the bottom.
  28. There are only 365 birthdays for nearly 8 billion people.
  29. Bread is just a loaf of dough, so by that logic cheese is just a loaf of milk, and an ice cube is just a loaf of water.
  30. You are more likely to get attacked by a bear in water than a shark on land.
  31. Babies are biodegradable.
  32. Coconuts and hippopotamuses kill more people then sharks on an annual basis.
  33. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
  34. Clowns are the Rudolphs of people.

Absurd Ideas and Inventions

  1. Claiming whatever land you set foot on as yours
  2. How to shave a kiwi
  3. Ye Olde Tyme Diseases
  4. Having a pool party without a pool
  5. The Most Glamorous Grudge
  6. Bringing back moats
  7. Advertisements should be put ON toilet paper. Imagine the revenue!
  8. Hang gliding with balloons
  9. Bringing back capes
  10. Stationary unicycles
  11. Use for glass blankets
  12. Artificial human meat
  13. Alternate uses for dried out pens
  14. Hats growing on trees
  15. Adventures of Soapseal
  16. Trees gaining sentience and revolting against Christmas
  17. Clown plane
  18. How expensive the sun's sunglasses would be
  19. Best thing to put googly eyes on
  20. Becoming a carrot farmer
  21. Death by bubbles
  22. Baby stadium
  23. Circus Museum
  24. The first family should have to prove it every year
  25. Adventures of Neon Man
  26. Theme park where the theme is North Dakota
  27. Using pasta as a wig
  28. Worst thing to fill a pool with
  29. Awkward phrases to get tattooed
  30. Being bad at using your superpower
  31. Best depth to dig a hole until

Animal Antics and Absurd Creatures

  1. A stool for mules
  2. Hot cats
  3. What do pandas dream about?
  4. Shrimp are the _____ of the sea
  5. Dolphins with arms
  6. Alligator romance
  7. Does anybody else find it weird that you never see a baby pigeon in a city they are always adults.
  8. Animals I'd high-five without hesitation
  9. Charity for sloths
  10. Have you ever made a dog laugh before?
  11. What is a cat bat?
  12. Kitchen pigeon
  13. What birds like to laugh at
  14. Stegosaurus bear
  15. What cats like to laugh at
  16. Puppy backpacks
  17. Do seals tell each other they look tight?
  18. How cats fantasize about killing me
  19. What do pigs dream about?
  20. T-shirts for hamsters
  21. Judgy squirrels
  22. Eating ponies
  23. A dingo at the baby convention
  24. What's a hummingbird's favorite song?
  25. Are cats planning to invade earth? If yes, isn't it already done?
  26. Can birds get rabies?
  27. If sloths are planning to take over the world, will we not be able to know because of their slowness?
  28. Do camels know that sharks exist?
  29. Animals on psychedelics

Pop Culture and Brand Parodies

  1. Make America ______ Again
  2. If Darth Vader took off his mask and was actually Luke the whole time
  3. Rejected Sesame Street monsters
  4. Where's Waldo right now?
  5. ______bob ______pants
  6. Winnie the Pooh's evil twin
  7. Lions, tigers, and _____, oh my!
  8. SpongeBob Cylindrical Pants is anatomically correct
  9. Mascot for Skittles
  10. Cookie Monster's real name
  11. Pandas expressing thoughts on Panda Express
  12. It wasn't until college that he learned an esophagus isn't a Sesame Street character
  13. Do the chickens have large talons?
  14. 93 Dalmatians
  15. Winnie the Pooh didn't wear pants because...
  16. When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
  17. Does Lightning McQueen have life insurance or car insurance?

Food, Snacks, and Sweets

  1. Pumpkin cake?
  2. Tootsie Pops vs. Blow Pops
  3. What candy hearts should actually say on them
  4. Worst fortune cookie
  5. Too many pop tarts
  6. Midnight Ding Dongs
  7. Chocolate covered raisins are for people who...
  8. Subway sandwich sorrows
  9. Inventing cantaloupe pizza
  10. What food don't I trust
  11. What food doesn't go on a bagel?
  12. A bowl of alphabet soup that spells out the message "Please do not eat me."
  13. Best soda fountain mix?
  14. Best dried fruit
  15. Best bread?

Made-Up Games, Sports, and Events

  1. Olympic duck duck goose
  2. Open jousting night
  3. Sloth gymnastics
  4. Penguin wars
  5. Hedgehog circus
  6. If I could name a new sports team
  7. T-ball struggles
  8. Olympic speed walking
  9. Worldwide thumb wars
  10. Horse cartwheels
  11. Butter battle
  12. Giraffe stacking
  13. A game called Lighter Fighter

Monsters, Zombies, and the Supernatural

  1. Haunted mattress
  2. How would you escape from a zombie island?
  3. Bigfoot's parents
  4. Munchie Monster
  5. You are in a daycare center when vampires attack. What do you grab as a weapon?
  6. Dog ghosts
  7. Cat ghosts
  8. The monster in my closet owns a chain of fast food restaurants called _____
  9. What angels do with their halos when no one's looking
  10. Why can't zombies just eat other zombies instead?
  11. What if a zombie apocalypse has started but we just didn't know because phone lines had been destroyed?
  12. Sleeping through an apocalypse

Other

  1. Wait, that's not milk!
  2. Who has the biggest heart?
  3. It's not officially a fetish until...
  4. 2% of cocoons are special because...
  5. Thanks for more deaths
  6. Who deserves the Frown Crown?
  7. Your second to last meal
  8. What goes down in a nerd fraternity / sorority
  9. People who hate flowers
  10. What cannibals think of you
  11. What doesn't go in your nose?
  12. Twice in a lifetime
  13. Easiest origami
  14. Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?
  15. Underrated plant?
  16. Pretending to talk drunk

What to Do When Bored

Random Games
Hundreds of Flash games, picked at random. Play 'em right in your browser.
Drawing Ideas
Funny things to doodle with pencils or crayons.
Painting Ideas
Easy things to paint with acrylic or watercolor.
Things to Do at Home
Ways to annoy your siblings, parents, and/or pets while trying not to get hurt.
Things to Build in Minecraft
Create amazing shelters and artistic stuff to look at with your many colorful cubes.
Things to Eat
New foods for dinner, lunch, breakfast, brunch, and snacks.
Things to Do Outside
Stuff to do in your yard or on a street or in the woods.
Things to Do in Public
Just so you know, the public will hate you if you do any of these.
Thoughts
These are thoughts...by people. Some are deep...some are not.
Questions
This could maybe be helpful if you're feeling philosophical.
Puns
Jokes so unfunny that they're actually kinda funny.
Challenges
Please don't actually do all of these.
Writing Ideas & Prompts
Story prompts, writing exercises, and creative ideas to spark your imagination.
Ways to Make Money
Quick ways to make extra cash when you're stuck without a job.
Best Things to Do
Ideas for what to do when you're really, really bored.
Funniest Things to Do
Ideas for how to make yourself laugh.
Worst Things to Do
Bad ideas that are stupid, or at least super awkward.
Superpowers
There's always room for another comic book idea.

To Do Lists

18 Prank Call Ideas
Those poor, poor minimum wage employees.
22 Stupid Challenges
Sure, you're bored, but how do you prove that you're really, really bored?
23 Funny YouTube Video Ideas
Wow your friends with these unheard of innovations in online video media.
25 Hilarious McDonald's Pranks
A lot of these also work for Burger King or Wendy's, if you have one of those instead of a McDonald's.
16 Really Weird Things to Do
These will most likely not help you gain any friendships.
25 Shortest Jokes Ever
Caution: Pretty much all of these are puns.
17 Things to Do at School
Other than look at this website, obviously...
22 Most Boring Things to Do
Some of us are just too excited sometimes.
29 Fun Things to Do with Friends
Crazy ideas that are great for best friends who are really bored. Also they're free!
17 Things to Text
Helpful suggestions on how to successfully get someone to block your number.
32 Funny Short Story Ideas
Amusing writing prompts for those with writer's block.
35 Things to Do When You're Really Bored
Are you dying of boredom? Some or all of these suggestions might help!
16 Prank Call Responses for Telemarketers
Why settle for a simple no thank you?
23 Things To Do Outside
There's a whole vast world out there, so you could at least check out your front yard.
16 Funny Movie Theater Prank Ideas
But seriously people, please turn off your cell phone first.
56 Ideas for Cool Things to Draw
Prepare your 96 pack of crayons.
48 Easy Things to Paint
Simple acrylic and watercolor subjects, from food and animals to surreal landscapes.
18 Immature Walmart Pranks
Cheap prices and cheap entertainment.
26 Easiest Challenges Ever
Time to boost that self esteem!
29 Cool Snow Day Ideas
If it's not snowing by you, you can always head north.
16 Fun Things to Do at Home
Oh hey that's where you are right now!
20 Things You Should NOT Do
Sent in by all of you lovely website visitors.
22 More Prank Call Ideas
Phone numbers not provided. You can look those up on your own if you want to deal with the consequences.