Worst Things to Do

All 32 ideas

1. Tell a joke that only you understand.
   
2. Give someone a hug while you're standing and the other person is sitting.
   
3. Ask people questions as they're taking a mouthful of food so they're forced to stare at you as they rapidly chew and make stupid faces and hand gestures.
   
4. Get a subtle haircut so people aren't sure whether or not to comment on it.
   
5. Attempt to hide your yawn so you unintentionally look like you're having a miniature seizure.
   
6. Be the first person to wake up at a sleepover and just...lay there.
   
7. Bring up an old topic 5 minutes after a new topic started.
   
8. Try to hug someone who wants to handshake, so they go for a hug, but then...you go for the handshake.
   
9. Walk past someone in a long, empty hallway while continuously deciding whether or not to make eye contact.
   
10. While someone is doing dishes, slowly put another dish in the sink.
    
11. Keep looking for something and then realize it was right in your hand the whole time.
    
12. Keep laughing after everyone else has stopped.
    
13. When in somebody's path, move to the side, and then when the other person moves, go to the side you were originally on. When the other person goes there, keep on sidestepping left and right until somebody gives up.
    
14. Go to a party and then just...stand there. Don't have anything in your hands. Just stand there, in the middle of the room.
    
15. Say goodbye to your friends and then realize they're not leaving yet.
    
16. Refuse to get off an airplane.
    
17. Put braille on all the highway signs to help blind drivers.
    
18. If you can't identify a song, use it without permission in a movie. The creators will sue you, and you'll know the song's name in court.
    
19. When drinking and driving, leave your seatbelt unbuckled; it can be used as a bottle opener.
    
20. Send starving children cigarettes to help them suppress their appetite.
    
21. Spray your eyes with sunscreen so you can look at the sun as long as you want to.
    
22. Eat a rock, but only if it's a smooth one.
    
23. Rename North America 'India' because Indians lived here.
    
24. Show up naked to the TSA line so you don't have to take off any clothes, speeding up the security check-in.
    
25. Pull out your teeth so you can fit more Doritos in your mouth.
    
26. If you have a hole in your shirt, just get the same shirt and wear it under the one with the hole. That way the hole will be hard to see.
    
27. Make a Where's Waldo audio book.
    
28. Reenact 9/11 to prove/disprove conspiracy theories.
    
29. Get a skin colored tattoo so you can see how your tan is coming along by comparison.
    
30. Print out your Facebook feed to reduce the amount of time you spend staring at screens.
    
31. Add extra energy to your morning by replacing the sugar in your coffee with cocaine.
    
32. Sell "Double Sided Tape", but instead of both sides being the sticky side, they're both the non-sticky side.