Random Thoughts

These are thoughts...by people. Some are deep...some are not.

If I scrimped and saved in real life as well as I do in video games, I'd be retiring next year.

Don't you hate that moment when that person does that thing? Don't you agree that toasters could be better? Technically you might be right about everything. Quote these ideas so you can sound kind of smart!

All 359 ideas, by category

People, Society, and Life

  1. Everyone has that "make the other person sound incredibly stupid" voice when describing an argument.
  2. The easiest way to get me to stop correcting you is for you to just stop being wrong.
  3. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  4. It's so hard to act disappointed when someone I don't like fails at something they're doing.
  5. If you don't have anything nice to say, make sure that you don't say it too loudly.
  6. Mannequin: the body you'll never have, wearing the clothes you can never afford.
  7. The faster a girl mentions her boyfriend in the conversation, the more creeped she is by you.
  8. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
  9. 20: the last time you'll wish you were one year older.
  10. Sarcasm: Because beating someone in the face with a shovel is illegal.
  11. "I've always done it this way." I understand that, but you've always done it wrong
  12. Often times, teenage girls don't turn into women. They just turn into adult teenage girls.
  13. If you get offended when someone says Merry Christmas, I think you forfeit your right to have the day off.
  14. Hey, I realize I'm adult, but I too would enjoy some crayons and a menu filled with puzzles.
  15. Characters in books never sneeze unless it's needed for the story.
  16. What if April fools isn't a real holiday but just the longest standing joke in history.
  17. I'm not really a quiet person... You just don't deserve my knowledge.
  18. Imagine a world where looks didn't matter, it'd be a place of happier people.
  19. Disneyland is a human trap set by a mouse.
  20. To get a loan, you need to prove you don't need it.
  21. Imagine that the only person who is able to fly thinks it'd be stupid to try.
  22. Actually, I talk a lot. I just don't like talking to you.
  23. You know movie trailers are lying to you when all of them say they are the number one movie.
  24. A billion dollars never seems like quite as much as 1000 millions of dollars.
  25. You can be the best tennis player in the world but you'll never be as good as a wall.
  26. People are primitive inconveniences who are very creative on how to be very time wasting.
  27. Break-dancing is fighting invisible ninjas.
  28. In this modern age, pizza is delivered to your doorstep before the police arrive.
  29. Children stop being toddlers when the sheer size of their heads stops being dangerous.
  30. If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question.
  31. I notice I do the same things I hate about other people. Why hello irony, yeah I'm just gonna ignore you
  32. If people didn't find babies adorable, the human race would probably cease to exist.
  33. There are no smart people or stupid people, just people being smart or being stupid.
  34. You've known your parents you whole life, but they've only known you for a part of theirs.
  35. Do you remember what you were doing on June 21st, 2007? Me neither. Government's up to something, man.
  36. One day I'm going to own a bar and call it "I Don't Remember."
  37. I had no problem paying $7.75 for a beer at the Phillies game, but a $3.99 app for my iPhone seems ridiculous.
  38. I am just weird, we all are in some way, that means we are all normal.
  39. Friends and jerks are the same except you take one seriously and the other one as a joke.
  40. When kids get out of hand take a step back and think of them as little tiny drunk people.
  41. For those who thinks life is about freedom, then why are they trying to control everything all the time.
  42. Colors we pick out to describe skin tones are never the same as the actual color of the skin. Ever.
  43. I don't love you because i am awkward, I am awkward because I love you.
  44. Society, you tell us to be ourselves then you judge the crap out of us, why are you so hypocritical?!
  45. The lullaby song is about a baby falling out of a tree. What's wrong with people?!
  46. People preach gender equality, then insist that men cannot hit women, and yet women can hit men.
  47. Society tells you to be yourself, but then they judge you for it.
  48. The cup is not half full or half empty, it is just twice the size it needs to be. -loop786
  49. Money can't buy happiness, but I'd rather be crying in a Mercedes than in a box.
  50. There's probably just one really witty person writing all of these thoughts.
  51. I'm sorry but saying "no offence" doesn't give you the right to say whatever you want.
  52. If someone ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd laugh and search with them.
  53. Love is an unexplained element of life like why Silverfish aren't fish.
  54. If life offers you lemons and you make lemonade be sure to share some of the lemonade. (K.F.B.)
  55. If life gives you lemons make apple juice and leave the world wondering how the heck you did it. (K.F.B.)
  56. One of the few problems you can't fix by yourself is loneliness.
  57. Its funny how dogs like our food but we dont like their food.
  58. Pain is an opinion. Think about it, what might hurt to one person might not hurt to another person.
  59. The nursery rhyme never said Humpty Dumpty was an egg.
  60. Dont live your life in the past just live the next day better than the last.
  61. The ultimate goal in life is happiness. Even materialism is a path to happiness, for some people.
  62. People say you can't live without love..... I think oxygen is more important.
  63. They say there are a lot of fish in the sea ... unfortunately i just suck at fishing
  64. Why do people say copying is not unique ,they were possibly the only people who thought about doing it.
  65. A penny saved is a " Penny Earned " I just found ten million dollars that i'm going to SAVE!
  66. Purple makes a dinosaur friendly.
  67. That moment when your crush gets a haircut, and you realize you only liked them because of their hair.
  68. You would worry a lot less about what people think of you if you realized how little they actually do.
  69. Even in a perfect utopia, people will still find ways to complain about something.
  70. Nowhere in the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg.
  71. If I had a nickel for every time I exaggerated, I'd have a million dollars.
  72. Leaves can be found in any color that isn't blue, black, gray, or white, and maybe some shades of brown.
  73. Has anyone but me noticed that water isn't blue OR clear, because it has no color.
  74. This world is so complicated, we have to be educated for 18 years of our life, just to work at KFC.
  75. Technically, Bees are the only Insects mankind has successfully domesticated.
  76. Warning: Children are flammable.
  77. Is weird something different or something different from you.
  78. Seattle: Where partially cloudy is considered blindingly bright.
  79. I exaggerate more than anyone in the whole world.

Relatable Moments and Pet Peeves

  1. I hate when I commit to running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out.
  2. I hate when you pass the same person in the grocery store going in opposite directions in every single aisle.
  3. The fact that nobody else is home still doesn't mean trying to dance down the stairs is a good idea.
  4. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  5. Whenever I see graffiti on highway overpasses I wonder how the hell they got up there to do it.
  6. Music producers: Don't add the sound of sirens to songs that will be on the radio. Just don't.
  7. Sometimes I ask a question and forget to listen to the answer.
  8. It really frustrates me when I have to turn up the TV when I'm eating something crunchy.
  9. All toasters should be see-through.
  10. I hate that awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
  11. If people winked in real life as much as they wink in text, this world would be a very creepy place.
  12. I am always surprised when I come out of a movie theater and see daylight.
  13. Why do I feel so awkward about asking you for the money you owe me? You owe me. You must feel terrible.
  14. Any time i have a styrofoam cup i have some urge compelling me to bite, poke a hole or destroy it in some way.
  15. I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
  16. Admit it everyone has tried to do a task before the microwave timer ended.
  17. That awkward moment when nobody laughs but you.
  18. I hate when women have writing on their shirt's because I don't want to risk reading it.
  19. That awkward moment when your looking for something, and that something is right in your hand.
  20. How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work in the morning.
  21. That moment when you think of something funny during a serious situation and you laugh like an idiot.
  22. When something smells bad, I keep wanting to smell it again to make sure it's bad.
  23. Trying to laugh quietly just sounds terrifying.
  24. Why are there advertisements about toilet paper? Who doesn't buy it.
  25. I bet the guy that invented popcorn must have been really surprised.
  26. That moment when you make an inside joke and remember that you are the only one on the inside.
  27. Sometimes, when I put lead on my mechanical pencil, I think I am putting in ammo for a creativity gun.
  28. I got worried when my fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it. What does that mean, manufactories?!
  29. I am terrified of two things in this world. Clowns, and tape measures retracting.
  30. I flinch every time I roll up a tape measure.
  31. When alone in a room, i say 'I know you're listening.' just in case.
  32. That awkward moment when you say good bye to your friends and then it turns out your not leaving yet.
  33. I just untangled a broken slinky... I feel like I deserve a medal
  34. There is no real reason behind the order of the alphabet ...ponder upon that.
  35. I'm afraid to own a low quality video camera in fear that Bigfoot will suddenly appear out of nowhere.
  36. Everyone's last word of every year is, almost every time, "one".
  37. I hate when the second pen doesn't work either.
  38. I hate when someone asks "Did you miss me?"; It's a question that requires a lie of a response.
  39. If you're not going to tell me your secret, don't tell me you have one.
  40. The mini heart attack you get when you miss a step.
  41. I hate when you watch a video on how to do something, and then you try it and give up a quarter way through.
  42. When you lose something, I hate it when they ask me where I lost it, IF I KNEW, I WOULDN'T HAVE LOST IT.
  43. That moment when you need your glasses in order to find your glasses.
  44. How did the first person who built the clock know what time it was.
  45. That moment when you try to explain something really funny to your parents, but they never get it.
  46. "On your mark, Get set, Go!" counts down in syllables 3, 2, 1.
  47. I love it when you say something that's supposed to be funny, but they take it seriously.
  48. That awkward moment when you say a joke and you're the only person who understood it.
  49. Why is it that whenever i sit on my remote by accident the only button pushed is the volume up button.
  50. The moment when you fart in a quiet room and no one notices, it is a life accomplishment!!!!
  51. Tell someone that their socks are untied. If they look down, then you have won.
  52. That awkward moment when you tell a joke and nobody thinks it's funny but you.
  53. The awkward moment when everyone else has stopped laughing but you just can't.
  54. I once stole a marble from the museum gift shop just so I could say I stole from a museum.
  55. Everyone has tried to catch dust in the air before, admit it.
  56. Good situations would be enjoyable if you didnt have to use the bathroom during them.
  57. Sometimes when I'm alone I'll say "I know you're watching." out loud.
  58. Admit it, at least once you have slowly closed the fridge trying to see the light turn off.
  59. That awkward moment when you take your headphones out and realize how loud you've been singing.
  60. You find out it isn't funny when you tell it to your parents.
  61. That awkward moment when you start clapping before everyone else.

Words, Grammar, and Wordplay

  1. It's amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
  2. The phrase "good luck with that" is not meant to encourage you anymore.
  3. Poems that don't rhyme are just really weird sentences that make people feel awkward.
  4. If 9/11 had happened in July, Seven-Eleven would have been screwed.
  5. The back of the knees should be called legpits.
  6. The person who would proofread Hitler's speeches was literally a grammar Nazi.
  7. Saying you will never say never not only makes you sound redundant, but also makes you a hypocrite and a liar.
  8. Monday is far from friday but friday is really close to monday.
  9. Surely extraordinary should just mean MORE ordinary.
  10. Your belt holds up your pants, but your pants... hold up your belt.
  11. I hate when people correct my grammar even though I am always the first person to point it out to others.
  12. If the opposite pro is con, than the opposite of progress is congress.
  13. Jail and prison mean the same thing, but when you add "er" to the end of them they become opposites.
  14. It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
  15. Tomorrow's yesterday is today and yesterday's tomorrow is today.
  16. The richest man in Asia's last name is Ka-shing. Life is good.
  17. Remember, even the word hopeless has hope in it. Plus if you rearrange the letters it spells pee slosh!
  18. Your lap only exists when you sit down. when you stand up its not a lap anymore.
  19. Wigs are just hairy hats.
  20. Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia... Fear of long words.
  21. Say beer can in an English accent. you are saying bacon in a Jamaican accent.
  22. They should have double contractions in English, like couldn't've.
  23. To do is to be- Nietzsche. To be is to do- Kant. Do be do be do- Sinatra
  24. Roses are red, violets aren't blue, they are actually violet, the poet tricked you.
  25. If Taylor Swift and Taylor Launter got married they would both be named Taylor Launter.
  26. Why is 'okay' spelled 'okay' when you actually pronounce it 'OK?'
  27. "I'm sorry," and "My bad," mean the same thing - unless you're at a funeral...
  28. The word "evil" is the word "live" backwards.
  29. Some call it kidnapping.... others call it surprise adoption

Twisted Logic and Paradoxes

  1. Guns are essentially just fancy rock throwing devices.
  2. The oldest person on earth has been alive for every birthday of every person in the world.
  3. Guns are basically just an advanced way for people to throw rocks at each other.
  4. We should call fat people "skinny" because they typically have more skin.
  5. Blind people must have really small electricity bills.
  6. A coconut has hair. A coconut has milk. A coconut has flesh. Therefore, a coconut is a mammal.
  7. The Japanese flag could be a pie chart of how much of Japan is Japan.
  8. Jesus can walk on water. Humans are 80% water. I can walk on humans. So therefore I am 80% Jesus.
  9. Oil is renewable... it just takes a really, really, really long time.
  10. There is no way to disobey someone if they say "disobey me".
  11. Think about it; To survive you don't have to be faster than a bear... Just your fellow campers
  12. The phrase "I am a liar" is a paradox... Just give it a minute.
  13. Every day, thousands of plants are killed by vegetarians.
  14. If i break the speed of light will i get arrested for breaking the laws of physics.
  15. If you say you're American as apple pie, you're 0% American. The apple pie is British.
  16. You are more likely to die on the way to get a lottery ticket than actually winning it.
  17. If you weighed 98 pounds and you drank 2 pounds of milk, you'd be 2% milk.
  18. My dog has seemed abnormally bored lately. I'm thinking about getting him a dog.
  19. People in sleeping bags are the soft shelled tacos of the bear world.
  20. "Nothing is impossible" is a lie, we have physics.
  21. If you drive in the opposite direction of Earth's rotation, you are technically slowing down.
  22. I don't believe in Adam and Eve because that means that cute person you checked out is your cousin.
  23. If you like water, you already like 80% of me.
  24. If ATM's are money machines, and if time is money, ATM's are time machines....
  25. Oil is made of fossils. Plastic is made from oil. Therefore; toy dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs.
  26. The egg came first because the chicken is a cross-breed. Knowledge.
  27. Guns don't kill people, bullets do. (Unless you get pistol whipped to death)
  28. This sentence has five words. This sentence has eight words. Only one sentence in this thought is true.
  29. Whoever said that nothing is impossible obviously hasn't tried nailing jelly to a tree.

Body, Brain, and Health

  1. In my perfect world mosquitoes would suck fat instead of blood.
  2. Bra sizes are the exact opposite of grades. There's nothing to brag about when you've got an A...
  3. I really wish that body hair would get the hint and stop growing back after the first 10 shaves.
  4. You're reading all of these thoughts with the same voice in your head.
  5. The brain is the only body part to name itself.
  6. Eyebrows are like moustaches for your eyes.
  7. All of my great ideas come when I am taking a test or trying to fall asleep. Thanks, brain.
  8. If thought bubbles appeared over my head...I would be so screwed.
  9. I am always afraid that someone is reading my mind.
  10. What if every time you forget what you are about to say, it is an author deleting content from their book.
  11. Our hearts pump blood to our brain, so it can tell the heart to pump blood... to the brain.
  12. Allergies are weird. Break a leg and you'll recover but eat a peanut and you're dead
  13. Admit it. We've all tried at least once to keep our eyes open when we sneeze.
  14. I hate when I have no thoughts, and then all of a sudden I get too many for the spam blocker.
  15. Trying to think of new thought makes you think of thoughts less.
  16. You can rub the inside of banana skin on mosquito bites to stop the itching.
  17. The brain named its self. Now use your brian to work that out.
  18. Whenever you are biting down on something always remember, you are actually biting up.
  19. It was a lie when they smiled and said "you wont feel a thing".
  20. If you didn't have that voice in your head, you wouldn't be able to read this.

Phones, Computers, and the Internet

  1. Before smart phones I never knew how much slime I had on my fingertips.
  2. Cell phones ruined pushing people in the pool.
  3. I fear the day Facebook decides to inform users of who has viewed their profile...and how many times.
  4. My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.
  5. You know you'll never restart the computer when it asks you to.
  6. The best lies are the ones you can't Google.
  7. I don't care if Wikipedia is wrong. I'm still going to use it for my research.
  8. I hate it when I'm playing a game on my phone and a delayed ad pops up right after I tapped the screen.
  9. You never realize how inappropriate a YouTube video is until you show it to your parents.
  10. I sometimes wink at my web cam just in case there is a NSA agent watching me.
  11. That awkward moment, when you can't remember your own ring-tone because nobody has called you in forever.
  12. 3d Printers can print 3d printers.
  13. If someday we all go to prison for pirating music, I hope they split us by genre.
  14. Thanks to file sharing, I now have more downloaded music than I have listening hours left in my life.
  15. I never really "miss" calls, I just ignore them.
  16. Computers are able to defuse bombs but they can't tell if I'm spamming or not.
  17. Dear Parents, I am still up at four in the morning because YouTube exists.
  18. That moment when you try to jam your USB in the wrong way over and over.
  19. Usernames are so fking annoying don't use them -theendofcreepers69.
  20. 90's kids will be the last generation of kids who didn't grow up with cell phones.

Food and Eating

  1. A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
  2. Fruit snacks should just be sold in buckets, to hell with these little packets.
  3. Unless you find a way to mail this food to Africa, I'm throwing it away.
  4. Pizzas are circles cut into triangles put into squares.
  5. Order Parmesan with your pasta the waiter says "Just say when." Never say "when."
  6. Eat whatever you want. If someone critics you about your weight - eat him too!
  7. They should make giant burger-sized Oreos, or tiny Oreo-sized burgers. Actually, they should make both.
  8. You're never hungrier than that moment right after you order your food.
  9. I don't trust any cheese that doesn't need to be refrigerated.
  10. Now that I think about it, a push-pop is nothing more than crappy ice cream in a toilet paper roll.
  11. If you eat the prize inside your cereal then that makes you a specially marked box.
  12. If you cut the bottom of a pineapple and hollow it out, could you wear it as a hat? I want to try this.
  13. There is no feeling more satisfying than opening a Starburst without ripping the paper.
  14. If you have a problem that can be solved, solve it. If it can't be solved, eat.
  15. The only reason that I shall open my front door for Girl Scout cookies, UPS and the pizza guy.
  16. Regardless of if I finish all this food, people in Africa are still starving.

The Universe, Existence, and Simulations

  1. Aliens invaded the moon on July 20th, 1969. Technically.
  2. Mirrors are actually portals to a parallel universe but your parallel self blocks the way.
  3. The concept of absolutely nothing is far more mind boggling than the concept of infinity.
  4. Trees are just really slow explosions.
  5. I am quite certain that the intense fear of falling is connected with the intense desire to fly.
  6. You exist because everything before you existed fell perfectly into place so that you would be born.
  7. When you look up on an open sky it looks like your in a dome with the clouds watching you.
  8. Someone could be stopping time, then unstopping it, and we wouldn't know.
  9. "To truly bake a pie from scratch you must first recreate the universe." -Carl Seagan
  10. How do we know that the world didn't just start right now with us only having memories of our lives.
  11. My Idea of this website's intended use is questioning absolutely everything.
  12. Sometimes i wonder if my thoughts are as big as a galaxy or as small as an atom.
  13. If the infinite universe theory is true, then in one of them social media networks are considered a drug.
  14. Humans are aliens that crashed to Earth on Saturday and lost all their memories of their past life.
  15. We might be in a simulated universe, with aliens watching us through a screen or something else.
  16. I'd like to think somewhere out there, in indefinite, endless space, I can find some damn peace and quiet.

Sleep, Beds, and Dreams

  1. You don't realize how much of your bed you really use until you have to share it.
  2. Time travels faster after I hit the snooze button.
  3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
  4. I'm always a little bit scared the moment I wake up from a dream where at some point I was peeing.
  5. The snorers are always the ones to fall asleep first, which I find cruel and unfair.
  6. I don't understand why bears get to sleep all winter while we are just here, stuck in the cold.
  7. Naps, I used to hate them but now I long for one.
  8. When you flip your pillow over at night and you enter a field of meadows.
  9. That terrible moment when you wake up, are on time, but fall back asleep waking up 3 hours later.
  10. Dreams are like parallel universes, everything feels different but somehow familiar. or at least to me.
  11. I hate when I can't find the cold spot on my pillow.
  12. I am never tired when I should be and I am always tired when I shouldn't be.
  13. At night: "I don't wanna go to bed." In morning: "I don't wanna get outta bed."

Games and Video Games

  1. If I scrimped and saved in real life as well as I do in video games, I'd be retiring next year.
  2. When my toast gets stuck I imagine I'm playing Operation.
  3. My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."
  4. There's that point during any jigsaw puzzle where you think "They better all be here!"
  5. Falling from a cliff in real life is not fun, but doing the same in a game IS fun.
  6. I think i'm going to have my tombstone say "respawn in 9 seconds".
  7. Over the years, Mario and Luigi have done everything EXCEPT plumbing.
  8. Video Games have taught me so much. When you get shot, just wait for a few seconds and shake it off.
  9. The video game industry is like the universe, never ending, mysterious, and sometimes, completely strange.
  10. I cant find my Where's Waldo book. Looks like he won before we started...
  11. That funny moment when you're playing video games, then stop, realizing how freakishly tense you are.
  12. 7 billion people. Millions of 3DS systems. 721 Pokemon. Not one based on a dolphin.

School, Math, and Tests

  1. I wonder how old my calculator thinks I am, considering I type things like 8 x 3 in there on a regular basis.
  2. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
  3. Well that's it...another year gone by and you didn't use algebra once.
  4. History class will get longer and harder as time passes.
  5. The best people in school are those who ask really long questions and waste time.
  6. I hate it when teachers lecture me for not knowing a concept I was never taught.
  7. There are 3 types of people in the world. People who are good at math and people who aren't.
  8. Me on a test: "Well, I haven't put down B in a while; yah, let's go with that."
  9. Dear Maths, I am sick of trying to find your X just except that she's gone. Move on dude
  10. Math is the only subject where you can buy 50 watermelons and no one wonders why.

Boredom and Doing Nothing

  1. I hate being lazier than I am hungry.
  2. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  3. You never realize how boring your life is until someone ask you what you like to do for fun.
  4. I'm not lazy I'm just really motivated ...to do nothing
  5. Problem about doing nothing - you can't tell if you're done yet.
  6. If you're reading this just to waste time, then congratulations, 5 seconds just went by.
  7. Only when someone asks you what you do in your spare time do you then realize what a boring person you are.

Quotes and Sayings

  1. You only get to be your current age for one year.
  2. You have once held the record for youngest person alive.
  3. You are insignificant. But if you die, people WILL care.
  4. When in doubt, cry and eat a tub of ice cream.
  5. We are extremely lucky that air is transparent.
  6. Eating meat is basically killing animals and absorbing their power.
  7. Any two puzzle pieces fit together, if you try hard enough.
  8. The only way teachers inspire me is by making me want to prove them wrong.
  9. "My entire life has led up to this moment" is always true.
  10. If you can't wish for more wishes, wish for more genies.
  11. A ton of people is literally 12 to 15 people. You have the power to influence a ton of people.
  12. The majority of standing ovations are due to peer pressure.
  13. Growing up I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it actually turned out to be.
  14. Taking from one source is plagiarism. Taking from many is research.
  15. People call me lazy, I consider myself cat like.
  16. I love it when I see a celebrity marry a nobody. It makes me feel like I have a chance.
  17. Any pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.
  18. Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
  19. If the infinite worlds theory is true, in some universe you are Batman.
  20. If you fall, don't get back up. Stay down and ponder why you fell in the first place.
  21. Money can't buy happiness, but it can pay for the internet, which is the same thing.
  22. The best way to waste time is by assuring yourself that you aren't wasting time.
  23. One of life's greatest joys is calling someone out for misspelling an insult against your intelligence.
  24. Even the worst quote, when put on a wall, can grab your attention.
  25. I should stop wasting my life. It's not eternal. I could die at any m
  26. Drinking cough syrup when you don't have a cough is ironic because in reality you're sicker than you thought.
  27. Hide and Seek was totally created by two friends who wanted to ditch their hated third friend with minimal confrontation.
  28. Birds don't sing to sing, they sing to tell other birds to get the heck off their territory or they'll be sorry.
  29. Fish jerky is the ultimate insult to fish. First you take the fish out of the water, then you take the water out of the fish.
  30. Whenever I feel sick enough to make a doctor's appointment, I strangely hope that I stay sick until I see the doctor.
  31. For some reason I've always had a strange feeling that even numbers are "good" and odd numbers are "bad".
  32. It's amazing how many things in the kitchen can function as makeshift plates when you're just too lazy to do the dishes.
  33. I've always known that electrical outlets look like a little face, but only recently noticed its expression is one of shock.
  34. When you've had a favorite color for so long, it's hard to admit that you suddenly like another color better.
  35. Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.
  36. There are people out there who believe that verbal communication is useless, but you wouldn't hear it from them.
  37. I wish it were still socially acceptable to wear capes in public. Think about it, every single turn would be 100% more dramatic.
  38. I'm curious about how much actual coffee is in a Frappuccino. My guess is about 3 beans for every gallon of whipped cream.
  39. I wonder if there's an actual Dr. Pepper, and no matter what the health problem is he always just recommends more caffeine.
  40. Figuring out your elementary school teacher's first name was like discovering their dirty, dark little secret.
  41. Imagine a world where your new ear buds break just after a week. I don't have to imagine that because that is what happens to me.
  42. There should be some sort of device that instantly makes my bed less comfortable when my alarm goes off in the morning.
  43. I can inhale an entire pizza without shame, but as soon as I drop any of it on my clothes I feel like a fatass.
  44. Yesterday was National Day of the Ninja and I was completely unaware of it. Well played Ninja Day...well played.
  45. Disneyland is the place where dreams come true but there always seems to be a kid that comes out of a ride crying.
  46. Monopoly is composed of "mono" meaning one, and "poly" meaning many. What a confusing word.
  47. You know what's gonna be weird? In like 50 years when a bunch of old dudes are calling each other dude and bro.

What to Do When Bored

Random Games
Hundreds of Flash games, picked at random. Play 'em right in your browser.
Drawing Ideas
Funny things to doodle with pencils or crayons.
Painting Ideas
Easy things to paint with acrylic or watercolor.
Things to Do at Home
Ways to annoy your siblings, parents, and/or pets while trying not to get hurt.
Things to Talk About
Entertaining topics to discuss with your boyfriend or cat or whatever.
Things to Build in Minecraft
Create amazing shelters and artistic stuff to look at with your many colorful cubes.
Things to Eat
New foods for dinner, lunch, breakfast, brunch, and snacks.
Things to Do Outside
Stuff to do in your yard or on a street or in the woods.
Things to Do in Public
Just so you know, the public will hate you if you do any of these.
Questions
This could maybe be helpful if you're feeling philosophical.
Puns
Jokes so unfunny that they're actually kinda funny.
Challenges
Please don't actually do all of these.
Writing Ideas & Prompts
Story prompts, writing exercises, and creative ideas to spark your imagination.
Ways to Make Money
Quick ways to make extra cash when you're stuck without a job.
Best Things to Do
Ideas for what to do when you're really, really bored.
Funniest Things to Do
Ideas for how to make yourself laugh.
Worst Things to Do
Bad ideas that are stupid, or at least super awkward.
Superpowers
There's always room for another comic book idea.

To Do Lists

18 Prank Call Ideas
Those poor, poor minimum wage employees.
22 Stupid Challenges
Sure, you're bored, but how do you prove that you're really, really bored?
23 Funny YouTube Video Ideas
Wow your friends with these unheard of innovations in online video media.
25 Hilarious McDonald's Pranks
A lot of these also work for Burger King or Wendy's, if you have one of those instead of a McDonald's.
16 Really Weird Things to Do
These will most likely not help you gain any friendships.
25 Shortest Jokes Ever
Caution: Pretty much all of these are puns.
17 Things to Do at School
Other than look at this website, obviously...
22 Most Boring Things to Do
Some of us are just too excited sometimes.
29 Fun Things to Do with Friends
Crazy ideas that are great for best friends who are really bored. Also they're free!
17 Things to Text
Helpful suggestions on how to successfully get someone to block your number.
32 Funny Short Story Ideas
Amusing writing prompts for those with writer's block.
35 Things to Do When You're Really Bored
Are you dying of boredom? Some or all of these suggestions might help!
16 Prank Call Responses for Telemarketers
Why settle for a simple no thank you?
23 Things To Do Outside
There's a whole vast world out there, so you could at least check out your front yard.
16 Funny Movie Theater Prank Ideas
But seriously people, please turn off your cell phone first.
56 Ideas for Cool Things to Draw
Prepare your 96 pack of crayons.
48 Easy Things to Paint
Simple acrylic and watercolor subjects, from food and animals to surreal landscapes.
18 Immature Walmart Pranks
Cheap prices and cheap entertainment.
26 Easiest Challenges Ever
Time to boost that self esteem!
29 Cool Snow Day Ideas
If it's not snowing by you, you can always head north.
16 Fun Things to Do at Home
Oh hey that's where you are right now!
20 Things You Should NOT Do
Sent in by all of you lovely website visitors.
22 More Prank Call Ideas
Phone numbers not provided. You can look those up on your own if you want to deal with the consequences.