16 Prank Call Responses for Telemarketers

Why settle for a simple no thank you?

Insist that the caller is really your friend playing a joke.
Pretend to be an old man (or lady) and speak with a heavy accent. Keep asking them to repeat themselves because you're hard of hearing.
Ask them how much their product will sell for on eBay.
After each question they ask you, say "no". "Are you the owner of the house? No. Can I speak with the owner please? No. Do you know a good time to call back? No."
Say "yes" after each question for completely different results.
Ask for their home number so that you can call them back later this evening.
Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.
Ask if he belongs to a particular nationality, like Canadian or something. If he says no, say "We only talk to Canadians". If he says yes, say "We don't talk to your kind." Then hang up.
After they introduce themselves, say "Hey, that's my name too!", and ask where they're from. After they tell you, say "I grew up there!", then follow up with other personal questions.
Offer to sign up only if they buy YOUR "product" (like oranges or something).
Every time they say something, say "That's not true!"
Put them on hold and play an annoying song of your choice, looping infinitely.
Question the legality of every statement they make, no matter how ridiculous is sounds. For example, "Are you sure that insurance is legal in my state?"
For every non-question sentence that the telemarketer makes, ask "Why?".
Tell them a sob story, that you got fired, you got a speeding ticket, there's nothing to eat tonight, etc. Then ask them how THEY are.
Keep repeating what they say until they ask you to stop. When they ask why you're repeating them, say you're training to be a telemarketer.

How to Cure Boredom

18 Prank Call Ideas
Those poor, poor minimum wage employees.

22 Stupid Challenges
Sure, you're bored, but how do you prove that you're really, really bored?

25 Hilarious McDonald's Pranks
A lot of these also work for Burger King or Wendy's, if you have one of those instead of a McDonald's.

17 Things to Do at School
Other than look at this website, obviously...

23 Funny YouTube Video Ideas
Wow your friends with these unheard of innovations in online video media.

16 Really Weird Things to Do
These will most likely not help you gain any friendships.

29 Fun Things to Do with Friends
Crazy ideas that are great for best friends who are really bored. Also they're free!

22 Most Boring Things to Do
Some of us are just too excited sometimes.

17 Things to Text
Helpful suggestions on how to successfully get someone to block your number.

25 Shortest Jokes Ever
Caution: Pretty much all of these are puns.

What to Do When Bored

Drawing Ideas
Funny things to doodle with pencils or crayons.

Painting Ideas
Easy things to paint with acrylic or watercolor.

Things to Do at Home
Ways to annoy your siblings, parents, and/or pets while trying not to get hurt.

Things to Talk About
Entertaining topics to discuss with your boyfriend or cat or whatever.

Things to Eat
New foods for dinner, lunch, breakfast, brunch, and snacks.

Things to Do Outside
Stuff to do in your yard or on a street or in the woods.

Things to Do in Public
Just so you know, the public will hate you if you do any of these.

Thoughts
These are thoughts...by people. Some are deep...some are not.

Questions
This could maybe be helpful if you're feeling philosophical.

Challenges
Please don't actually do all of these.

Writing Prompts
Ideas for short stories or conversations or improv or whatever.

Ways to Make Money
Quick ways to make extra cash when you're stuck without a job.

Best Things to Do
Ideas for what to do when you're really, really bored.

Funniest Things to Do
Ideas for how to make yourself laugh.

Worst Things to Do
Bad ideas that are stupid, or at least super awkward.

Superpowers
There's always room for another comic book idea.

Games

Mutilate-A-Doll 2
Stab it, shoot it, or give it a dumb hat.

Pocket Emo
Design your own sadness...

Bubble Shooter
Pop bubbles to be the best bubble popper person.

Beat Up Your PC
This might not be politically correct.

Easiest Game Ever
Sure to boost your self-esteem!

Stupid Quiz
Prove you aren't dumb with this test.

Kyle Bob's Choose Your Own Adventure Game
It's like a book except you're able to lose!

Earthquake Fizz Calculator
How long after an earthquake is it okay to open a can of soda again?

Haunted House of Heck Adventure
Full of ghosts, spiders, and awkward moments.

More Games
Play 'em right in your browser.

To Do Lists