14 Things to Do with a Potato
Just in case y'all needed a list.
- You should probably boil it.
- You should consider mashing it.
- You should seriously think about sticking it in a stew.
- Laugh at the potato because it's stupid. You stupid, inferior, brainless potato, you.
- Film a slow motion video of it getting smashed on the ground into a hundred little pieces.
- Have inefficient potato peeling races using things like keys, spoons, and other household objects.
- Cook just one into as many different forms as possible (fries, chips, hash browns, etc.).
- Carve it into a fat, potato-shaped animal, like a seal or a pug.
- Install an operating system on it so you can use the potato to run programs to help track the potato status.
- Throw it at someone, then if you hit them in the face, remember that it's now entirely too late to win that friendship back.
- Try to carve it into a perfect circle and sell it to some idiot who would actually buy that kind of thing.
- Make a somewhat edible Mr. Potato Head with toothpicks and grapes and gummy worms and stuff.
- Give it to someone as a gift instead of flowers, and tell them, "In time, flowers will rot away, but potatoes continue to grow, just like my love for you."
- Try to peel a potato with another potato until you decide to give up and go outside or something.