14 Things to Do with a Potato

14 Things to Do with a PotatoJust in case y'all needed a list.
  1. You should probably boil it.
  2. You should consider mashing it.
  3. You should seriously think about sticking it in a stew.
  4. Laugh at the potato because it's stupid. You stupid, inferior, brainless potato, you.
  5. Film a slow motion video of it getting smashed on the ground into a hundred little pieces.
  6. Have inefficient potato peeling races using things like keys, spoons, and other household objects.
  7. Cook just one into as many different forms as possible (fries, chips, hash browns, etc.).
  8. Carve it into a fat, potato-shaped animal, like a seal or a pug.
  9. Install an operating system on it so you can use the potato to run programs to help track the potato status.
  10. Throw it at someone, then if you hit them in the face, remember that it's now entirely too late to win that friendship back.
  11. Try to carve it into a perfect circle and sell it to some idiot who would actually buy that kind of thing.
  12. Make a somewhat edible Mr. Potato Head with toothpicks and grapes and gummy worms and stuff.
  13. Give it to someone as a gift instead of flowers, and tell them, "In time, flowers will rot away, but potatoes continue to grow, just like my love for you."
  14. Try to peel a potato with another potato until you decide to give up and go outside or something.