15 Reasons Going to Jupiter Would Make You More Stupider

It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, it will.

1. The high temperature would cause your brain to fry, causing it to not work properly.
   
2. The high atmospheric pressure would cause your skull to implode into your brain, making it smaller.
   
3. You would have no internet connection out there, so you'd be very ignorant of what was going on back on Earth for the most part.
   
4. The high gravity would cause your brain to drop into your throat, making it less efficient.
   
5. Based on current technology, it would take over 30 years to travel there, causing your brain to deteriorate with old age.
   
6. If you land on the great red spot, you'll be in a giant storm, with high winds that would rip off your clothes and skin, which would distract you from mathematics or whatever you're trying to do.
   
7. You may get struck by magnetic lightning, which would give you a cool tattoo but isn't known to help increase one's IQ.
   
8. You'll probably get lazy on the way there and spend most of your time playing repetitive video games to kill time.
   
9. The lack of social interaction would also be detrimental to many common brain functions, assuming you're going by yourself.
   
10. Why are you even going to Jupiter when nobody's been to Mars yet? Ya idiot.
    
11. It's also raining literal diamonds on Uranus and Neptune, so why aren't you going over there? Ya moron.
    
12. You would ingest a lot of ammonia from the ammonia clouds, which negatively impacts memory.
    
13. Its center has an ocean made of liquid hydrogen, which unfortunately doesn't have enough oxygen to turn it into H2O. Also, it's super hot, and not in the fun way.
    
14. You wouldn't be able to get out and tell people about your discoveries, making any accumulated knowledge pointless, when you could have been learning about something else that could be shared, like butterflies or something.
    
15. If you're going on this trip just to prove a point to someone you went to elementary school with, you really have been getting more stupider since then, regardless.