22 Funny Quotes About Life

Inspirational thoughts by anonymous people about how silly the world is.

Drinking cough syrup when you don't have a cough is ironic because in reality you're sicker than you thought.
Hide and Seek was totally created by two friends who wanted to ditch their hated third friend with minimal confrontation.
Birds don't sing to sing, they sing to tell other birds to get the heck of their territory or they'll be sorry.
Fish jerky is the ultimate insult to fish. First you take the fish out of the water, then you take the water out of the fish.
Whenever I feel sick enough to make a doctor's appointment, I strangely hope that I stay sick until I see the doctor.
For some reason I've always had a strange feeling that even numbers are "good" and odd numbers are "bad".
It's amazing how many things in the kitchen can function as makeshift plates when you're just too lazy to do the dishes.
I've always known that electrical outlets look like a little face, but only recently noticed its expression is one of shock.
When you've had a favorite color for so long, it's hard to admit that you suddenly like another color better.
Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.
There are people out there who believe that verbal communication is useless, but you wouldn't hear it from them.
I wish it were still socially acceptable to wear capes in public. Think about it, every single turn would be 100% more dramatic.
I'm curious about how much actual coffee is in a Frappuccino. My guess is about 3 beans for every gallon of whipped cream.
I wonder if there's an actual Dr. Pepper, and no matter what the health problem is he always just recommends more caffeine.
Figuring out your elementary school teacher's first name was like discovering their dirty, dark little secret.
Imagine a world where your new ear buds break just after a week. I don't have to imagine that because that is what happens to me.
There should be some sort of device that instantly makes my bed less comfortable when my alarm goes off in the morning.
I can inhale an entire pizza without shame, but as soon as I drop any of it on my clothes I feel like a fatass.
Yesterday was National Day of the Ninja and I was completely unaware of it. Well played Ninja Day...well played.
Disneyland is the place where dreams come true but there always seems to be a kid that comes out of a ride crying.
Monopoly is composed of "mono" meaning one, and "poly" meaning many. What a confusing word.
You know what's gonna be weird? In like 50 years when a bunch of old dudes are calling each other dude and bro.

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