22 Funny Quotes About Life
Inspirational thoughts by anonymous people about how silly the world is.- Drinking cough syrup when you don't have a cough is ironic because in reality you're sicker than you thought.
- Hide and Seek was totally created by two friends who wanted to ditch their hated third friend with minimal confrontation.
- Birds don't sing to sing, they sing to tell other birds to get the heck of their territory or they'll be sorry.
- Fish jerky is the ultimate insult to fish. First you take the fish out of the water, then you take the water out of the fish.
- Whenever I feel sick enough to make a doctor's appointment, I strangely hope that I stay sick until I see the doctor.
- For some reason I've always had a strange feeling that even numbers are "good" and odd numbers are "bad".
- It's amazing how many things in the kitchen can function as makeshift plates when you're just too lazy to do the dishes.
- I've always known that electrical outlets look like a little face, but only recently noticed its expression is one of shock.
- When you've had a favorite color for so long, it's hard to admit that you suddenly like another color better.
- Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.
- There are people out there who believe that verbal communication is useless, but you wouldn't hear it from them.
- I wish it were still socially acceptable to wear capes in public. Think about it, every single turn would be 100% more dramatic.
- I'm curious about how much actual coffee is in a Frappuccino. My guess is about 3 beans for every gallon of whipped cream.
- I wonder if there's an actual Dr. Pepper, and no matter what the health problem is he always just recommends more caffeine.
- Figuring out your elementary school teacher's first name was like discovering their dirty, dark little secret.
- Imagine a world where your new ear buds break just after a week. I don't have to imagine that because that is what happens to me.
- There should be some sort of device that instantly makes my bed less comfortable when my alarm goes off in the morning.
- I can inhale an entire pizza without shame, but as soon as I drop any of it on my clothes I feel like a fatass.
- Yesterday was National Day of the Ninja and I was completely unaware of it. Well played Ninja Day...well played.
- Disneyland is the place where dreams come true but there always seems to be a kid that comes out of a ride crying.
- Monopoly is composed of "mono" meaning one, and "poly" meaning many. What a confusing word.
- You know what's gonna be weird? In like 50 years when a bunch of old dudes are calling each other dude and bro.
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